73 The Self-Empowered Woman: Blog Hop 2010

Dear Followers,

As so many of you know, my blog has been sharing news about women of achievement from a wide variety of cultures, countries and eras. And this seemed like a perfect time to introduce you to another blog (Pensieve) that is written by an accomplished woman for females who are on the move -- both emotionally and intellectually.

My blog (and book) centers on the fact that it's amazing that a young woman in Cambodia, a retirement-age woman in South Africa, a deceased author in England and an Academy Award winning American actress would have so many things in common.

Most remarkable women just happen to be amazing mothers. And chapter 16 of The Self-Empowered Woman explores that issue and, hopefully, helps inspire all of us to accept that making our mark in the world and being successful mothers are not mutually exclusive.

My fifth non-fiction book, The Self-Empowered Woman, was inspired by my life-long interest in what women could do even though they faced obstacles. That interest (some call it an obsession) led me to study the lives of women as diverse as Isak Dinesen (remember the movie Out of Africa?), the singer Sade, the author Agatha Christie, the aviator Amelia Earhart, and modern-day women like T.V.'s Meredith Vieira, film director Nancy Meyers and Teresa L. King, who happens to be the first female Commandant of the Army's Drill Sergeant School.

I hope you enjoy The Self-Empowered Woman blog as well as the book (which is available on Amazon.com), and I look forward to many more stories that can inspire women of all ages and all interests.

Looking forward to your comments!

72: The Self-Empowered Woman: Work and Women

Dear Followers,

Instead of writing about one individual woman today, I'd like to share information from New York Times economic write David Leonhardt. In today's paper he wrote a thought-provoking article about mothers and the labor market that punishes them.

Leonhardt uses the Supreme Court as a prototype for the job market. He points out that the last three men nominated to the court were all married and had seven children among them. But the last three women have all been single and childless.

He reminds us that only 15 Fortune 500 companies have a female chief executive, and men dominate the next executive rung as well. Sadly, full-time women workers earn almost 25% less than male employees. And, many experts think it's because there is a price to pay for not following "the old-fashioned career path." And according to Jane Wadfogel, a Columbia University professor who studies family and work: "Women do almost as well as men today as long as they don't have children."

A University of Chicago study found that shortly after graduation men and women usually worked the same weekly hours and had nearly-identical incomes. But 15 years later, the men were earning about 75% more than the women. The only group of women who kept pace with men were those who had no children and (therefore) never needed to take time off. This may explain why so many mothers stop working - since there are few options for part-time work, the switch is made to full-time parenting.

Leonhardt closes his column with this observation: "For almost 200 years, the Supreme Court did not have a single woman on its bench. Sometime later this week, it is likely to have three."

Looking forward to your comments...

71: The Self-Empowered Woman: Kankuben Lalabhai Parmar

Dear Followers,

Today - thanks to Guy Trebay and the New York Times - I'd like to tell you about an amazing woman who has defied all odds and become an international business woman even though, for many years, she'd never traveled outside her own home.

Kankuben Lalabhai Parmar is from the village of Madhutra in the Indian State of Gujarat. To get to Manhattan, where her crafts are being sold at the Asia Society, her journey involved an oxcart, a trishaw, a jeep flatbed. an open-topped shuttle, and then her first-ever airplane ride.

Ms. Parmar officially belongs to a "scheduled caste," which meant that she was considered untouchable; the men were limited to their region or village, and the women were traditionally bound to their homes. She is now 50 years old, but never met a man who wasn't a close relative until she was an adult.

Married at 14, she is the mother of seven children, and her life changed dramatically when (two decades ago) the not-for-profit Sewa Project came to her village to help preserve native handicrafts and create "alternative employment."

Ms. Parmar creates patchwork embroideries that often include small pieces of mirror that she buys (as scrap) by the pound. Her pillow covers, for example, require almost a week's worth of sewing and sell for about $15 at her local market. Today, she earns about $60 a month, which has made her the family's chief breadwinner.

As she told Trebay, "When I was a girl, all the assets belonged to the father or the husband or the brother...now that I have my own business and make my own money, my husband shows me respect."

Ms. Parmar is an informal ambassador for Sewa and the Crafts Council of India; it's estimated that in India alone 40 to 60 million people earn part of their living making crafts.

In New York, Ms Parmar visited museums, bought gifts at CVS for her daughters, and enjoyed all the sophistication of Manhattan even though she is illiterate and must use her thumbprint for a signature.

Twenty years have made a huge difference in the lives of the once-untouchable women of Madhutra, India. Their quiet and dignified example of global feminism should inspire us all.

Looking forward to your comments...

70: The Self-Empowered Woman: Gloria Allred

Dear Followers,Lately these blogs have been introducing readers to accomplished women from a variety of nations, but today I'd like you to meet a home-grown Self-Empowered Woman who has - for most of her life - been comfortable with controversy.

Born in Philadelphia on July 3, 1941, Allred is possibly the most famous female attorney in America. She has consistently welcomed clients and cases that many other attorneys would avoid. According to Allred "My work is not about popularity contests...women can't enjoy equal opportunity if they are sexually harassed at work...[and] the defense just hopes the woman doesn't hire Gloria Allred (5: Life is Not a Popularity Contest).

In the 1960s, after her daughter was born Allred and her first husband divorced and in 1987 (after 19 years of marriage) she and her second husband divorced (15: Forget About Prince Charming).

Allred's daughter, Lisa Bloom, who is 20 years younger than her Mom, worked at the same law firm for nine years and the two are very close (16: Intensive Motherhood).

Thane Rosenbaum, a law professor at Fordham University has described Allred as a "moral attorney" because she accepts cases with no concern for her own reputation or for her (often unlikely) chances of winning (11: Risk Addiction). She has made her (7: Magnificent Obsession) defending women who have been taken advantage of by people in power.

Perhaps the key to her passion is that she was - at age 21 - a divorced single mother with no child support. When she was 25, she was a teacher at a high school in Watts (a volatile neighborhood in Los Angeles) and took a vacation to Mexico. While there, she was raped; after undergoing an illegal abortion she almost bled to death, but a nurse in the intensive-care unit told her "This will teach you a lesson." (12: Hard Times). It was that experience that made the young Ms. Allred begin to fight against the systemic way that women were treated in America.

Allred has her share of critics in both the legal and media communities and Comedienne Chelsea Handler has been critical of Allred on both her blog and her late-night talk show and has accused the lawyer of "...setting the women's movement back 100 years." But what other people think (like when a California State Senator called her a "slick butch lawyeress") rarely seems to bother Allred.

Looking forward to your comments...

69: The Self-Empowered Woman: Somaly Mam

Dear Followers,

I am frequently asked how I "discover" the amazing women who become part of The Self-Empowered Woman blog. Not surprisingly, the answer almost always has something to do with reading. But I was introduced to today's heroine when I read the wedding announcement in the New York Times of Michael Raymond Angelo and Scott Michael MacDougal. I was impressed that they were both involved in New York's Somaly Mam Foundation, which works to end child prostitution and sex slavery, particularly in Southeast Asia. The couple met Ms. Mam in New York and even traveled to Cambodia to visit one of her shelters. Their efforts on her behalf aroused my curiosity, so I did a little research in order to share her story with you.

Almost all of us have complained at one time or another, but when you learn about the amazing story of Cambodia's brave Somaly Mam you'll realize how lucky you are to have your "problems" rather than the ones she has faced!

Somaly Mam has endured enough in 40 years to encompass several lifetimes. She never learned who her parents were (1: No Paternal Safety Net) because she was abandoned; she was first raped at the age of twelve. By the time she was 14 she was sold into a forced marriage to a man who beat her, and eventually sold her to a Phnom Penh brothel where, in her words, "we were treated worse than dogs."

While there, Mam was repeatedly gang raped and tortured (12: Hard Times) and the awful things saw and experienced led her to make rescuing young powerless girls her life's work. The acronym for her organization is AFESIP (the English translation would be Acting For Women In Precarious Circumstances) and it works to rescue young girls from the pimps and brothels that abuse them.

In Cambodia, a five or six year old child can be sold into slavery for as little as $100, and the going price for a young girl prostitute is less than $2. So far, Mam has rescued over 5,000 girls and her shelters offer medical, psychological and educational care for the young girls who look to her for help.

According to the Cambodian Ministry of Women's Affairs there are over 1o0,000 prostitutes in Cambodia, almost half are under 16, and more than half are HIV positive.

The reason Mam was able to escape sexual slavery and work to help others is that her appearance was not appealing to Khmer and Chinese brothel customers. They prefer plump, light skinned girls, but she is tall, slim and dark skinned; the brothel eventually let her go. Since that time Mam's mission has been to help other girls (7: Magnificent Obsession).

Mam married a French expatriate, but they have divorced (15: Forget About Prince Charming). She is a devoted mother to her three children (16: Intensive Motherhood). Thanks to her and the shelters she has established in Cambodia, Thailand and Vietnam, girls who otherwise had no future have been taught to read, write, and acquire skills to support themselves without having to sell their bodies.

Looking forward to your comments...

68: The Self-Empowered Woman: Juana Bacallao

Dear Followers,

Do you ever find yourself feeling tired? Ever wonder what it would be like top retire or take a permanent vacation? When you learn about today's Self- Empowered Woman, it just may reframe your thoughts about being too old (or too tired) to follow your dream...

Juana Bacallao is a Cuban diva who still performs (in a blond wig and a slinky red dress) almost every Friday night at the Havana nightclub Gato Tuerto (One-Eyed Cat) even though she is over 80 years old.

Nobody knows exactly when she was born, but some people suggest that she may be 93 years old. Her birth name was Neri Amelia Martinez Salazar and (1: No Paternal Safety Net) she was orphaned at the age of six. At that time she was sent to a Catholic boarding school (3: Belief in the Unbelievable).

By the time she'd become a teenager she'd landed the job of cleaning houses. Fortunately, a powerful music director (Obdulio Morales) heard her singing while she was sweeping, and immediately decided that she had what it took to become a star (4: Supportive Someone).

When most of us think of a female Cuban chanteuse we think of Celia Cruz, but Juana never left the cabaret scene in favor of becoming a TV or recording star. And although she still has not received a visa to perform in the U.S., this year she will travel to Mexico and Moscow for performances.

The now-elderly singer has always been known for her "unpredictable" behavior (5: Life is Not a Popularity Contest). It's not unusual for her to interrupt her performances to adjust her wig or makeup or even taunt male audience members for staring at her too intently.

Juana makes no secret that retirement is not an option. She told the AP "I will never retire. I will only stop when death has come for me...I have no age" (7: Magnificent Obsession).

Obviously, there's no tonic like doing what you love.

Looking forward to your comments...

67: The Self-Empowered Woman: Beka Ntsanwisi

Dear Followers,

These days it seems that everyone is paying close attention to soccer's World Cup Competition in South Africa. So I thought - in the spirit of Self-Empowered Women everywhere - that you might like to meet an amazing woman named Rebecca Beka Ntsanwisi.

She was born in 1968 at Nkowankowa Village outside Tzaneen in Limpopo, a province of South Africa. Her father was an educator, and as a youngster she was encouraged to work hard at school and help improve her community (2: An Early Sense of Direction). After graduating from high school she attended the University of Venda, where she studied music (9: Music).

In the 1990s, she began working at a radio station, and soon became the head of its social responsibility program. She has been particularly effective at helping those in rural areas, especially impoverished people.

In 2003, Beka was diagnosed with colon cancer and two years later was wheelchair dependant (12: Hard Times). During her illness she worked with the Department of Health to a) form support groups for people with cancer and b) fight the belief in witchcraft that still exists in some communities.

During her own treatment, she often visited public hospitals and was saddened by how many elderly female patients were treated. Many of them seemed lonely, depressed and/or confused, but Beka felt that exercise (particularly soccer) just might give these women the lift they needed.

Today, the group that Beka founded in 2005 is known as Vakhegula Vakhegula (Grannies Grannies) and includes 35 players from 49 to 84 years old. The team has become so well known that it has been invited to come to America in August to compete in the Veteran's Cup (for teams with players 30 and over) in Lancaster, Mass. (13: More Than Meets the Eye).

After Beka's husband died the Grannies helped her deal with grief, and another player who lost eight of her twelve children found that the soccer team became an extended, supportive family. When the Grannies were young girls playing on a soccer team simply wasn't an option, but today - thanks to Beka - these women have an acceptable athletic outlet (8: Turning No Into Yes).

Beka has won numerous awards including (five tines) the Black Management Forum Limpopo Woman of Excellence Award, the Limpopo Achievers Award, the Premier's Award and the Nkowakowa branch of the South African National Civic Organization honored her for her work to help the helpless.

Today, Beka's cancer is in remission, but she considers her work for the poor and Grannies Grannies to be her legacy.

Looking forward to your comments...